Why Do We Live by a Beauty Myth?

Naomi Wolf in her book ‘The Beauty Myth’ says, “In assigning value to women in a vertical hierarchy according to a culturally imposed physical standard, it is an expression of power relations in which women must unnaturally compete for resources that men have appropriated for themselves.” There is no better way to realise this than the billion dollar cosmetics industry and the equally widespread fashion industry. If in New York, a woman has the 'freedom' to wear calf-skin Prada boots, a single mother in Seelampur and Manila has to give up hers by spending all the time she can to stitch clothing for the ambitious women of New York.

It's not fair. Pun intended.

Beauty is a factor that really shouldn't have anything to do with your intelligence. However, it does. I read a study which claimed that being beautiful meant that you would be smart too because genetics is on your side.

I think that's a load of crap. I remember watching the episode of "30 Rock" where Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) meets this cute doctor (played by Jon Hamm) who is really handsome and everyone in the world is nice to him and gives him whatever he wants. On the other hand, he is as dumb as....as....well, George W. Bush. I'm not comparing dumb people to rocks or animals as both are smarter than him.

So "30 Rock" showed that while beautiful people may have their way and the world trips over its own laces to follow and praise them, they really can't do shit! (I mean, not all of them would have constipation problems or piles, but I can hope for it, can't I?) The world is built on the toil, burden and humiliation of normal and "ugly" people. If we weren't tortured enough for being dark,weak, being ugly, or fat, or nerdy etc., I don't think we'd have worked even harder to make a name.

While not all of us normal folks have made a name for ourselves, we certainly are the factor, the coal bearers in this cruel cruel world. Without us, there'd be dirty toilets, dishes, garbage everywhere, no fancy apartments,  shit on the road, and no beautiful clothes too.

So while you wear that expensive Prada or Ritu Kumar, bear in mind the labour behind it. The circle of life isn't a song you can sing in a Disney movie and win an Oscar for. It's crap and it's a hell to be stuck in. Think of the woman in Seelampur or fighting her way through the jungle to escape in Maoist villages death and hunger. Think of these not-beautiful thoughts when you think you are not beautiful enough for the world.

New Love Stories Part II

Read Part I here: http://herethis-therethat.blogspot.in/2011/04/new-love-stories.html

The prince searched among his virtual friend list and also in all his friends of friends' list. With all the Photoshopped images as profile pictures, it was hard for him to figure out which one was the girl he had dreamt of. He didn't want to masturbate in the shower by himself again. He needed a girl. But the girls he knew wanted gifts and sex wasn't a topic that was discussed much. Because of his father's religious connections, he only had access to sex workers and (fake) horny daughters of the congregation.

He wanted nothing of them. The prince wanted a girl who loved him for what he was. Who would accept his cute little beer belly and not push him towards dieting and drinking karela (bitter gourd) juice, who wouldn't make him watch Shilpa Shetty yoga videos, and who didn't always run to the diamond section of a jewellery store on a date.

The prince hoped that the girl he dreamt of was nothing like his cruel ex-girlfriends. He hoped that this time round, his heart wouldn't be broken and he would finally find love. Or make her come at least once, as he was good at a hand job.

Making full abuse of his rich father's powers, the prince summoned a sketch artist who had to come running from a suspect sketching section. The prince described in detail the boobs and the ass of the girl of his dreams, adding other tiny details like eyes, nose, face structure etc. With very little to go on, the sketch artist still managed to make a girl and not a Playboy Bunny out of the prince's descriptions. When he showed it to the prince, the prince was ecstatic. "You have it right!" he shouted with joy. "Now I need to just find her."

Luckily for the prince, one of his friend who was an obnoxious asshole but a school mate of PizzaLover123, was visiting him at that exact moment. He instantly recognized from the boobs that the prince was talking about PizzaLover123. That's because the boobs were real and not silicon like the prince and he were used to. The prince's friend gave him all the details of where to find her and what she liked. And that very night, the prince and his friend departed to see PizzaLover123.

Meanwhile in her bedroom, PizzaLover123 was pinning over a poster of Johnny Depp as she kept touching herself. It had been months since she'd seen some action in that region. Her father was always suspicious of the guys she hung out with, so for her winter holidays, she had been staying indoors and watching TV a lot. However, tomorrow, her college would start for the fresh term and she would go back to ogling at the guys from the hotel management institute. There was a paucity of choice as the MBA institute right next to her college was only admitting engineering graduates who were all super horny geeks with no hands-on experience in female anatomy but great interest, however.

Now, we cannot always know what goes on in a girl's mind, and PizzaLover123 was very good at hiding her emotions. Or so she thought. She wanted a lover, a boyfriend, a husband, a friend, a confidante and an honest person. And there was no chance in hell that Jesus was resurrecting anytime in this century. So she had to contend with the choices that life gave her. And these were not always the best of the lot. The ones she was with were infact good people but she could not see beyond their exterior cover, beyond what their hands were capable of doing to her. She could not see what they thought in their minds or how they felt in their heart. She was always reminded of the devil that gave her the highest pleasure and shame.

(More to come in Part III)

Read Part III here: http://herethis-therethat.blogspot.in/2013/02/new-love-stories-part-iii.html

Read Part IV here: http://herethis-therethat.blogspot.in/2013/03/new-love-stories-part-iv.html

Read Part V here: http://herethis-therethat.blogspot.in/2013/03/new-love-stories-part-v.html

Don't Drag Me Down Yet...

There are some days when I'm really happy and I don't have to care about what the world and the people in it are going through. Though these days are few and far in between, I still manage to have days like these at least a couple of times a year. The rest of the days, I'm either too sad to think about anything, or I'm one of the crowd whom other people don't care about. Most of the days, it's the latter.

I learned long ago that life is smokes and mirrors all through and through. Without mincing words, I know that very few people care about what goes in each others' lives even though they might be best of friends. Well, it's human nature to be selfish and it's also becoming the trend. I am one of such people too, after all. I don't care about the lives of people beyond a handful of closest family, friends and "arch" enemies. I find the trifles of other people a burden on my intellect. There seriously are better things in life to do.

Drats then that I'm a sympathetic person. No matter how much I try not to care, I end up caring. In the long run, I don't always remember people and faces nor their stories, but for the time that they know me, I am one of the best-or worst-psychologist/adviser/listener. Of course it depends on what you take of my advise, how you think of me as a person, and what kind of advise I give you.

Most of the times, it's just rehashed things I learnt from Oprah. (God, that woman's wonderful!) But because I care about people in that moment, I try to give as solid an advise as I can. I make sure it's practical, has long-term effects that'll be helpful to the person concerned and it should involve as little anger as possible. The one thing I hate most in this world is anger. Why can't people smile and laugh like children? Learn to be more like them?

We'll always have trouble wherever we go which we can't run away from. Sometimes it bogs you down, sometimes it takes you a long time to recover but there's always an end to it. You need people around you but you can only have people when you care about them. Keep a handful of people close to you for all the protection, security and love you need. At times they'll be irritating as hell, at other times you'll be the ass to them. The one thing to remember is that as long as there's a mutual understanding of that, you're fine. When you sink, people will lend you a hand and pull you up. Just remember to return the gesture when they need a pull-up.