Loving to Hate

I don't exactly know when I started using self-deprecating humour to make fun of my situations. I made fun of everything about myself, my intellect, physical appearance, family, clothes, education, hobbies...I left nothing behind. Of course, this poking fun at myself extended to poking fun at other people, making light of their situations and ending up embarrassing them. I've had foot-in-mouth disease and I've tried hard to not do it any more. Keeping my mouth shut has helped in that regard.

But it hasn't stopped.

A lot of things have happened in the past, and things continue to happen. The only way to escape these is by seeing myself as the loser who can't have a good phase. Separating myself into personae like that has helped me carry on in life, pretending as though nothing is wrong. Nothing is wrong, seriously. I don't know what you're talking about.

Drifting through life is easy. But it's tough when you have actual ambitions that you want to actually see happen. Now that sucks. But then ambitious me is also such a loser because she is always interrupted by the loser me. Loser me always comes in the way of ambitious me, ensuring that she doesn't spread her wings. Loser me doesn't like to see any part of me succeed. Nice job!

Logical me thinks that this blog has really taken a turn for the worse. I started as a feminist and I've become one of those old cat ladies who dies in her apartment and is eaten by her cats. Funnily enough, enough number of my friends agree with me on that.

Friends...? Who am I kidding. Loser me doesn't have those. That's happy me. And she's not here anymore.