I've been single for a good two years now. I really have forgotten what it was to be in love. I mean, I do remember the most common things, the light-headedness, butterflies in the stomach, curling of the toes inside your sheets...etc.
The things I miss most are the touch of the skin, the hot breathe, tracing the outline of the body through my fingers. (I'm told, I have really soft hands and magic fingers-useful for a massage.) I miss being in bed for no reason and being in "love". I miss the sneaking out, running away and laughing all the way. I miss someone not touching my hair, not kissing me, not appreciating my body when they have full access to it. I mean, I don't always like the roadside desperates who try to rape you with their eyes, but I do appreciate if someone takes an effort to take a full good look at the curves. Which girl doesn't?
I know that being with someone isn't the only thing that you should live for in this world. I have lived life with my girlfriends and friends. I have loved life being alone with myself and my thoughts. I appreciate and love my body more than often. And most days, I'm in a good enough mood to be in love with the world.
But I just wish sometimes...when my hands and imagination aren't enough...to have someone to share bodies and feelings with. I can't talk about these things openly with my friends or girlfriends because they don't always like the boldness. Sex and talking about even the fringes of it turns on some people at first but then they think that I'm overdoing it if I talk in public with the same vigour as in private. I'm no expert on it, mind you, and all I want to do is learn more about it. Education isn't all about school and getting it from the movies and books, people!
The things I miss most are the touch of the skin, the hot breathe, tracing the outline of the body through my fingers. (I'm told, I have really soft hands and magic fingers-useful for a massage.) I miss being in bed for no reason and being in "love". I miss the sneaking out, running away and laughing all the way. I miss someone not touching my hair, not kissing me, not appreciating my body when they have full access to it. I mean, I don't always like the roadside desperates who try to rape you with their eyes, but I do appreciate if someone takes an effort to take a full good look at the curves. Which girl doesn't?
I know that being with someone isn't the only thing that you should live for in this world. I have lived life with my girlfriends and friends. I have loved life being alone with myself and my thoughts. I appreciate and love my body more than often. And most days, I'm in a good enough mood to be in love with the world.
But I just wish sometimes...when my hands and imagination aren't enough...to have someone to share bodies and feelings with. I can't talk about these things openly with my friends or girlfriends because they don't always like the boldness. Sex and talking about even the fringes of it turns on some people at first but then they think that I'm overdoing it if I talk in public with the same vigour as in private. I'm no expert on it, mind you, and all I want to do is learn more about it. Education isn't all about school and getting it from the movies and books, people!
