The past few weeks have been spent voraciously reading through books as if there was no tomorrow. Currently, books are the only thing in my life that make me feel like I'm in an adventure. This is really because there's nothing else in my life that requires as much focus and attention from me. Books really do make me feel alive. I even felt my heart skip a beat. That has not happened with anything else, as far back as I can remember.
Being single and having to work to earn a livelihood is pretty normal. Having a dysfunctional home is also pretty normal, because everything classifies as dysfunctional these days. What is normal? Even television doesn't know the answer to that. And the Bible is no longer a reference book for life.
When I see my fellow colleagues, friends, and family struggle with the people in their lives, I can't connect to them. Why doesn't everyone just tell each other the truth. I did that and some people stopped talking to me altogether. That's fine by me. If you can't handle the truth, you don't deserve to call yourself a thinking individual.
Life hasn't always treated me with kid gloves, so why should I treat others the same way? It's not my way of getting revenge at life, or avenging some stupid notion that I cooked up. I really am serious about telling the truth as you perceive it. The truth that people know if staring them in the face, but don't want to face because it proves that they were wrong.
Nothing is liberating. Only freedom is liberating, and that too is a short-lived phenomenon before we rush to comply to the rules of living. The truth is weird and never what we expect it to be. Am I sad in life, yes. The reasons: my life is pretty f----- up right now, and I'm pretty much broke. My dreams have been sidelined to address the fancies of other people. Am I angry? You bet! The blatant violation of my rights and disregard of my hard work is sure to make people livid.
Then people ask me, why am I so closed off and distant? My dear people, becoming an ice queen in life is not something I wanted. It's something I was driven to be because of all the circumstances that I couldn't always control. After all, I was also growing up during that time and wasn't any wiser about how I could live my life.
I don't remember if I ever really loved anyone: boyfriend, family or friend. It's because I don't have any emotional bonds with any of them that make me want to do absolutely anything for them. My commitment to each person in my life has a limit that I will not exceed, no matter what the case. It's not me being an ice queen. It's just me trying to survive. I'm not suicidal because I really really value my life over that of others. So, this is my animal instinct, and nothing beats it.
So, why is it that people don't understand this simple argument? Because all of us have been under false expectations that some parts of life are really a party. Life has various parties, but it is never an endless party. Rich people worry about their riches, poor people worry about their lives. Everyone has good memories that help them through the tough times. In spite of inequalities, people get by because that is what they have always done. So, why try to make my life any different?
I do have dreams that I wish to fulfill during my time here. It's just that I have many impediments such as "commitments". Getting rid of all these commitments has not been easy, and I'm not even half-way done. I have a long way to go before I can get to life live the way I want it to be. It doesn't help that I'm going to turn 26 in September and I still haven't done much to get ahead in life.
I await the day when I will truly be free. That sentence does not have any metaphorical intentions. I really want to be emotionally and physically free. Every day I dream of this future of mine gives me hope to live on. There's much in life I am yet to experience and a dreary existence is the last thing I want to continue doing.
Being single and having to work to earn a livelihood is pretty normal. Having a dysfunctional home is also pretty normal, because everything classifies as dysfunctional these days. What is normal? Even television doesn't know the answer to that. And the Bible is no longer a reference book for life.
When I see my fellow colleagues, friends, and family struggle with the people in their lives, I can't connect to them. Why doesn't everyone just tell each other the truth. I did that and some people stopped talking to me altogether. That's fine by me. If you can't handle the truth, you don't deserve to call yourself a thinking individual.
Life hasn't always treated me with kid gloves, so why should I treat others the same way? It's not my way of getting revenge at life, or avenging some stupid notion that I cooked up. I really am serious about telling the truth as you perceive it. The truth that people know if staring them in the face, but don't want to face because it proves that they were wrong.
Nothing is liberating. Only freedom is liberating, and that too is a short-lived phenomenon before we rush to comply to the rules of living. The truth is weird and never what we expect it to be. Am I sad in life, yes. The reasons: my life is pretty f----- up right now, and I'm pretty much broke. My dreams have been sidelined to address the fancies of other people. Am I angry? You bet! The blatant violation of my rights and disregard of my hard work is sure to make people livid.
Then people ask me, why am I so closed off and distant? My dear people, becoming an ice queen in life is not something I wanted. It's something I was driven to be because of all the circumstances that I couldn't always control. After all, I was also growing up during that time and wasn't any wiser about how I could live my life.
I don't remember if I ever really loved anyone: boyfriend, family or friend. It's because I don't have any emotional bonds with any of them that make me want to do absolutely anything for them. My commitment to each person in my life has a limit that I will not exceed, no matter what the case. It's not me being an ice queen. It's just me trying to survive. I'm not suicidal because I really really value my life over that of others. So, this is my animal instinct, and nothing beats it.
So, why is it that people don't understand this simple argument? Because all of us have been under false expectations that some parts of life are really a party. Life has various parties, but it is never an endless party. Rich people worry about their riches, poor people worry about their lives. Everyone has good memories that help them through the tough times. In spite of inequalities, people get by because that is what they have always done. So, why try to make my life any different?
I do have dreams that I wish to fulfill during my time here. It's just that I have many impediments such as "commitments". Getting rid of all these commitments has not been easy, and I'm not even half-way done. I have a long way to go before I can get to life live the way I want it to be. It doesn't help that I'm going to turn 26 in September and I still haven't done much to get ahead in life.
I await the day when I will truly be free. That sentence does not have any metaphorical intentions. I really want to be emotionally and physically free. Every day I dream of this future of mine gives me hope to live on. There's much in life I am yet to experience and a dreary existence is the last thing I want to continue doing.
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