The Hypocricy of Self

Mean bitches don't take advice: good or bad. They do give plenty of it, though.

 

It is always difficult to sit through an "advising for your own good, beta" session. Plenty of people want to give advice because that is all that they are good at. "Do this", "don't do that", "go there", "don't go there", "you'll suffer plenty, you damn bitch", or "you'll burn in hell, for that, you ugly witch". I've heard the "U" and over-18 versions of it all.

Instead of remembering anything useful from school, what we learn is to give advice. Our parents and teachers are excellent source materials who teach us advice methods and its language. As people who have failed in some aspect of life, they "know best". Of course. When you are below 18 25 30 unmarried and living under the good graces of your parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, relatives, servants, neighbours, and passers-byes, you do not have much choice. However, when you turn 18, the situation changes drastically.

At 18, the government itself entitles you to give advice. The right to vote gives you the freedom to flaunt your knowledge (or lack) of the right idiot who is fit to lead the country. The right to a driver's license gives you the liberty to advice yourself to park wherever you wish and abuse in any number of tongues, including Klingon (which people will reciprocate). These freedoms come with the fundamental duty to exploit them. Hail democracy!

The brilliance of giving advice is that you don't need to know or care about the person you're advising. It comes naturally to you after undergoing 18 years of intense conditioning. You can't easily shake off such mental manipulation. It becomes a part of who you are and what you become.

Dear reader, keeping all the above in mind, is it wise to insult my advice-sharing? It is tough to judge oneself before, during, or after advising someone. In fact, it is impossible to even know how and when you switch to "advice mode". But, being a humble person, I have decided to list my hypocrisies and make you all aware of what you are doing in life, and to stop doing it. You aren't benefiting anyone by telling them what to do. We live in a world of idiots who need to insert their fingers in a live socket to understand how electricity works. It's this curiosity that has got us so far up the evolutionary chain. There's no climbing down.

1. "Stop Being My Mother": Being a woman, elder sister, girl friend, girlfriend, best friend, friend, colleague, classmate, and Metro traveller, I hear this phrase almost once every month. Including from my own parents. For all the goth that I tried to imbibe as a teen, this is my biggest failure. I try not to think from my ovaries when I am put in a situation where the only solution I have is a "mom-type answer".
2. "Thanks for the advise": Plenty of times, I have gone on a lengthy monologue and received this response. It's almost always sarcastic in nature. Most people already know whatever you're advising them about. And Google has left no stone unturned. So why do I still feel the tell people again and again about what they should be doing, based on my life's experience?
3. "I don't need you to tell me how to live my life": I love this response mostly because I love saying it all the time I receive advise. A single lady, portly or chubby in nature, and devoid of fair skin or an infectious smile will always receive advise on how to "change her life around". Because that's what she needs: people telling her that she's been living her life wrong all these years. She should have been born looking like Katrina Kaif, with Indra Nooyi's salary, Preity Zinta's smile, Gauri Khan's luck, Marie Curie's brain, and Sonia Gandhi's persistence. Sure, one person can be all that and marry some rando who you think is a "good match"? Would you like some advise on that matter?
4. "You think you know everything?": The answer to that is "Well, obviously!" Friends, and friends who are family, ask me this question all the time. As if! Based on the vast knowledge I've collected over the years, I have the authority to reflect and respond on certain matters that require the level of expertise that I possess.
   Shit, I sound like my elders. Forget whatever I said.
5. "I think you should...": Of course, you should do exactly as I tell you to because my pompous ass is superior to yours. I vomit in my mouth every time I realise I'm saying these words because I have hated being moulded into a "role model". People should be free to choose whoever they want to follow, or not follow. Freedom is free, but getting it so impossible, thanks to all the roadblocks in our way, set by our parents and ourselves.

In conclusion, I have no conclusion. This is a post against advise, and I shall keep it that way. I cannot propagate what I so despise. Do propagate this blog though because I can earn money if you do.

Being Set Up For Life

The past few weeks have been spent voraciously reading through books as if there was no tomorrow. Currently, books are the only thing in my life that make me feel like I'm in an adventure. This is really because there's nothing else in my life that requires as much focus and attention from me. Books really do make me feel alive. I even felt my heart skip a beat. That has not happened with anything else, as far back as I can remember.

Being single and having to work to earn a livelihood is pretty normal. Having a dysfunctional home is also pretty normal, because everything classifies as dysfunctional these days. What is normal? Even television doesn't know the answer to that. And the Bible is no longer a reference book for life.

When I see my fellow colleagues, friends, and family struggle with the people in their lives, I can't connect to them. Why doesn't everyone just tell each other the truth. I did that and some people stopped talking to me altogether. That's fine by me. If you can't handle the truth, you don't deserve to call yourself a thinking individual.

Life hasn't always treated me with kid gloves, so why should I treat others the same way? It's not my way of getting revenge at life, or avenging some stupid notion that I cooked up. I really am serious about telling the truth as you perceive it. The truth that people know if staring them in the face, but don't want to face because it proves that they were wrong.

Nothing is liberating. Only freedom is liberating, and that too is a short-lived phenomenon before we rush to comply to the rules of living. The truth is weird and never what we expect it to be. Am I sad in life, yes. The reasons: my life is pretty f----- up right now, and I'm pretty much broke. My dreams have been sidelined to address the fancies of other people. Am I angry? You bet! The blatant violation of my rights and disregard of my hard work is sure to make people livid.

Then people ask me, why am I so closed off and distant? My dear people, becoming an ice queen in life is not something I wanted. It's something I was driven to be because of all the circumstances that I couldn't always control. After all, I was also growing up during that time and wasn't any wiser about how I could live my life.

I don't remember if I ever really loved anyone: boyfriend, family or friend. It's because I don't have any emotional bonds with any of them that make me want to do absolutely anything for them. My commitment to each person in my life has a limit that I will not exceed, no matter what the case. It's not me being an ice queen. It's just me trying to survive. I'm not suicidal because I really really value my life over that of others. So, this is my animal instinct, and nothing beats it.

So, why is it that people don't understand this simple argument? Because all of us have been under false expectations that some parts of life are really a party. Life has various parties, but it is never an endless party. Rich people worry about their riches, poor people worry about their lives. Everyone has good memories that help them through the tough times. In spite of inequalities, people get by because that is what they have always done. So, why try to make my life any different?

I do have dreams that I wish to fulfill during my time here. It's just that I have many impediments such as "commitments". Getting rid of all these commitments has not been easy, and I'm not even half-way done. I have a long way to go before I can get to life live the way I want it to be. It doesn't help that I'm going to turn 26 in September and I still haven't done much to get ahead in life.

I await the day when I will truly be free. That sentence does not have any metaphorical intentions. I really want to be emotionally and physically free. Every day I dream of this future of mine gives me hope to live on. There's much in life I am yet to experience and a dreary existence is the last thing I want to continue doing.